what i'm learning.

In my time with the Lord this morning I was just so struck by the lies we believe, and how destructive they can be in our daily walks.

I was telling/crying to B yesterday some of the things I had been feeling lately, that I knew just weren't good at all. I was telling him that I have just felt really purposeless lately- and am struggling to see the worth and the value of what I do. Its hard for me to put value on doing the dishes and the laundry, balancing the check book and cooking our meals. Its not something I am used to equating much worth to. Before I was married, I didn't do any of those things very often because I had things to do outside the house that I saw to be of greater value. I was hanging out w/ my little girls in Bryan or meeting someone for coffee to talk or pray. So as I hope you can see, its been kind of difficult for me to readjust my mind in this area. I have a husband now. And I never have had one of those before. I'm not used to equating a lot of purpose to loving and serving a husband. Yet, the highest calling I have on this earth in serving my God is to serve and to love him....so why are all these things floating around in my mind? Why I am doubting the significance of all that I do? As I thought about this and shared it with B, I realized what an effect these thoughts had on my daily walk. Its easy to sulk around or feel worthless when you are letting yourself believe that the things you are doing aren't of any value!
So why have these thoughts come up lately? Well one, as I said earlier-these just aren't the things I have ever put any stock in; and two- these are exactly the things I am supposed to be doing! Of course the enemy would want me doubting my value in this area!

Titus 2 instructs older women to "train young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled,pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled"

Two of the very areas that we are to be trained in so that the God's Word is not reviled, are the very things that I was having such a hard time seeing worth in. Don't get me wrong, I love loving my husband, and I love being at home for him and taking care of things at home while he is gone, but I just don't naturally attribute much value to them. But they really are a HUGE deal. God wants us to do these things so that His word is not reviled, or despised! Thats a big deal. These are areas that I do not want to take lightly or to disregard as being enjoyable, but unimportant areas of my life. They are essential parts of the woman God is training me to be! I am not saying that a woman must stay at home all day and never leave or do anything else, but it is definitely an area to be regarded much as far as the Word of God goes.

B of course, is wonderful and is constantly reminding me of how important I am to him...I think he tells me 200 times a day that he loves me (and I wouldn't want it any other way). I love serving him and being his best friend. He serves me a lot too.

These are my musings for the day. friends, you can pray that I would really take hold of the purpose I have in being B's wife- that I would see through clear lenses God's great design and not let myself think on those lies.